So, if the average speed of traffic is 9.3mph, and the manufacturing of engines and their running output just adds to emissions, why bother having engines at all?
The solution is blindingly simple. Let’s just go back to real horse power.
A horse can easily average 15mph, so it’s as fast as a Porsche in central London. A horse knows how to get home, so you can get blind drunk, go to sleep in your carriage and then wake up outside your house. The horse itself can power an electric motor fitted to your carriage wheels, so no need to top up your batteries. And above all, in this materialist and competitive city of ours, a horse has style.
If there’s one thing us Europeans excel at (apart from inventing the modern world), it’s luxury. So instead of trying to compete with Asia in mass production, lets put our energy into what we’re really good at. Walnut inlays and hand stitched supple leather.
Just imagine the kinds of carriages Porsche or Bentley would build. Light, fast, made with state of the art materials, ultimate suspension, onboard entertainment systems and navigation, and drink cabinets for your vintage whiskies, of course.
Greener than green, cooler than cool, more London than London. It’s time to revolutionise transport.